never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize