I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize