i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
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The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
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Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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