I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize