he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize