i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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porn star boner night. come get it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
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there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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