I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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