Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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