girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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