I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize