I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize