I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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