I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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