You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize