I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
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I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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