Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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