her vagine was all disorganized.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize