Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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