are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
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My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
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It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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