you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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