I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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