I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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