On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you would pick up someone in the library
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
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he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
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You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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