Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize