I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize