My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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