Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize