she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize