last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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