youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize