I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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