just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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