It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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