The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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