After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
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Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
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I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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