I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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