She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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