Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
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Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
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Watching her eat just hurts me
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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