what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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