We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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