clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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