oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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