are you still at the devil's house?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i out mim tonsoeep
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