You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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