What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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