I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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