If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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