im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize