Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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