i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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